Spider-Man: Well, it’s no big conspiracy or anything. I just want to do what I can for people. But—I have family and friends and I don’t want to, like, put their lives in danger just because they know me. I want to protect them, so, yeah, I wear a mask. It’s pretty simple, really.
Reporter: But people might have a hard time trusting someone dressed like this.
Spider-Man: Well, I have a hard time trusting people who wear those hats with a beer can on each side, so… listen, I know it’s corny, but the outfit means something to me and yeah—even though my wearing the mask might have idiots like that trying to use me to get attention for themselves… and people like that load J. Jonah Jameson at the Bugle trying to use me to sell papers my trashing the crap out of me all the time… I—I just don’t care…
Reporter: Why don’t you care?
Spider-Man: Because a guy a whole lot smarter than any of us once told me that with power comes a great deal of responsibility. And that’s not just for people with powers, like me. It think it goes for everybody. So I’m just—going to live my life that way and everything else is noise.

All right, listen, the cops are coming so I’m out of here. Is everyone okay? All right. See ya.

( ultimate spider-man #?? — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

Gwen: Hey, guys, is it me or does he smell vaguely of kitty litter?

( ultimate spider-man #19 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

Spider-Man: Psyche!
Spider-Man: ( narration ) Aah! What is this? Thank god my webshooters are still working. Oh man, I’m gonna heave! Total head spins. What? fgjmfghjghjfghjf

( ultimate spider-man #18 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

Gwen: How do you think the dinosaurs felt that moment just before the meteor hit? I mean—they were just, like, standing around and all of a sudden it’s like: oh @#!$, we’re extinct. I mean, that’s what’s going on, right? That’s what you’re worried about. We’re extinct. All of a sudden it’s if you don’t fly—you don’t survive. I mean, there’s, like, a guy now who can walk on walls? What’s that about? And now you have to think about that fact every day of your life. The fact that you can’t.

But—like, then I think about it like this: I think maybe the difference between us and the dinosaurs is—we know. They didn’t know—they didn’t have a chance. But we know there are things in this world more powerful than us. But the real question is: what are us normal people—what are we going to do without powers? But see? What is, like, ‘powers’ anyhow? This dude right here is stronger than me, does that make him superpowered? See?

‘Cause I have a theory—that, like, whatever you do… is your superpower. You play guitar? Football? Math? Whatever you do—whatever makes you—you. That’s your power. And I think—I think in this new world you’re just going to be forced to do what it is that you do as best you can… So maybe you won’t ever have, like, super mutant powers—all that means is no more sitting on your fatt butt watching cartoons. And I think if we can get into that mindset. I don’t hink there’s going to be any problems with all these super power, mutant, spider, goblin people. Because we’ll all have superpowers.
Kong: Who are you?
Gwen: Gwen Stacy. It’s my first day here.

( ultimate spider-man #14 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

i think we can all agree this is one of the most badass character introductions ever, amirite?

Peter: You mean you would—I mean, you didn’t have an issue or—
Mary Jane: Yeah, but that was before…
Peter: Before?
Mary Jane: I have a—yeah—I have a pretty strict ‘no super hero’ rule so…
Peter: What?
Mary Jane: Peter…
Peter: What?
Mary Jane: I’m joking.
Peter: There’s no rule?
Mary Jane: No.
Peter: There’s no rule against me…?
Mary Jane: No.
Peter: You’re not freaked out?
Mary Jane: Nope.
Peter: Really?
Mary Jane: Face it, Tiger, you just hit the jackpot…

( ultimate spider-man #13 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

Peter: And, listen, I mean, my head was going to explode. Keeping all this in. Are you kidding me?
Mary Jane: And you told me…
Peter: Yeah, duh, you’re my best friend.

( ultimate spider-man #13 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

Peter: You gotta be— shush, Mary. My aunt is home. You gotta be—
Aunt May: What’s going on up there?
Peter: Nothing, Aunt May.
Aunt May: I don’t want any hanky-panky up there.
Peter: We’re studying.
Aunt May: I mean it!
Peter: We’re studying.
Aunt May: And I’m Katie Couric.

( ultimate spider-man #13 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

lord only knows how peter ended up purple in that panel. for some reason, that’s just how it is on the scan and color fixing couldn’t get him quite peach again.

Kingpin: You son of a—!
Spider-Man: Wait—wait—How about this one… Your belly button makes an echo. If you were a truck you would have a wide load sign. When you back up we can hear a beeping sound.

( ultimate spider-man #12 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

Spider-Man: Oh man, I’m going to toss my cookies and… I haven’t even had any cookies. In fact, I’m going to go home and have cookies, just so I can toss them!

( ultimate spider-man #7 — brian michael bendis & mark bagley )

ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN #6

STORY BY Brian Michael Bendis
ART BY Chris Samnee
COLORS BY Justin Ponsor
LETTERS BY VC - Cory Petit
COVER BY Kaare Andrews, Mark Bagley
PUBLISHER Marvel Comics
COVER PRICE: $3.99 
RELEASE DATE Wed, January 18th, 2012

• NEW ARC STARTS HERE!
• Miles must learn how to be a hero from Peter Parker!
• The new Ultimate Scorpion is introduced!